It's not easy picking just one douchebag per day. And today is one of those days where we could of picked a good baker's dozen. We could have chosen facedouche Mark Zuckerberg because of his outrageous claims that he alone created facebook. Which if you've ever done any kind of programming, you know is bulls*%t. Or that he won't say how many billions he makes off of all OUR content because you know, he thinks the age of privacy is over. and because well, they're a private company... I guess he got us there. Or how about how his attorney won't definitively say whether or not Paul Ceglia has a legitimate claim in the form of a signed by Zucky-boy contract guaranteeing Monsieur Ceglia a whopping 85% ownership stake... if you believe the terms of the alleged contract. But no facedouche is not our douchebag of the day.
We could have stayed on the whole LGBT rights theme and chosen douchecop Lt. Derwyn Parker who was busted yesterday accepting the role of NOM thug by squashing the little ole' 1st amendment rights of one fine (straight ally by the way) LGBT activist in Jethro Rothe-Kushel. You won't believe the actions of this officer of the law so I posted their video HERE. Or if you just want to know what a bully looks like... here you go.
Or we could have chosen Glenn Beck because... well because he's bat-shit crazy.
But we're not here to talk about who could've been the douchiest douchebag today, we're here to tell you who is so douchey that they transcend all of these nominees. Who could be so horrible, so twisted, so deceitful that they are even douchier than the two douchebags above? Say hello to our little friend, "Tiny Tim" Geithner.
While Secretary Geithner has been douchey before - see how he actually paid out MORE of your tax dollars than was requested, a whipped cream on top of gravy on top of gravy bailout for his Wall Street chums HERE - he hasn't stooped this low or been this transparent about his doucheness before. Here's how today's story goes...
If you haven't been a member of the middle-east paparazzi camped out in an Afghan cave hoping for a shot of Osama Bin Laden having sex with a goat for the past year or sailing on your old man's yacht hoping for a reality show on TLC only to crash and burn in the middle of the Indian Ocean, then you probably have heard of the amazing "no holds barred" approach of one Elizabeth Warren. Ms. Warren is currently the chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel who amongst other unenviable tasks is asked to oversee the Treasury's actions. Ah, here's where Tiny Tim's panties get in a bunches of oats. You see it turns out that Ms. Warren will have none of Tiny Tim's lying or spinning or shenanigans. And, more importantly, by anyone's accounts, it looks like (if you've watched the hearings Ms. Warren has held) she is about 13.2 trillion tax dollars times smarter than our own Secretary of the Treasury when it comes to finance. We'll be the first to admit here at DOUCHEBAGS DAILY that we are no finance experts, but it doesn't take an expert to spot how Ms. Warren stumps and dazzles Tiny Tim HERE or HERE. Judge for yourself.
Anyhoo, Ms. Warren who has been providing a consumer and tax-paying American favoring, critical fact checking, watchful eye on the Department of the Treasury (not to mention all their buddies and pals and frat-brothers), is now the primo, numero uno, best choice to be the head of the newly forming CONSUMER FINANCE PROTECTION AGENCY. Just about everybody and their brother is saying that Warren is the obvious and best choice for the job. Except for one hold out. First Tiny Tim refused to back Ms. Warren for the post and now he refuses to say (even under mounting pressure from the American public) that Ms. Warren would be a good choice for the job. Oh Tim. You are really starting to crack us up. If we didn't have to hold down three jobs to feed our kids and pay our mortgage and buy over priced oil for our crappy American cars, we'd be rolling on the floor laughing at how much fun you like to have with this country's future ... or should we say this country's very survival.
He gives a kind of douchey explanation which you can see on Huffington Post today. I guess you could call his explanation more of the same. Asked who else might be in the running, Geithner noted that his "colleagues in the White House have put out two other names." Those are Michael Barr, the assistant treasury secretary for financial institutions, and Gene Kimmelman, chief counsel for competition policy in the Justice Department's antitrust division. Both have backgrounds in consumer advocacy, but nevertheless are seen as more sympathetic to Wall Street than Warren. Geithner called them "two very well-qualified, excellent candidates as well" and added: "I've heard of others." He didn't say if by "others" he means anyone who will cow-tow to his Wall Street love-fest approach to our economy and tax dollars.
So while Elizabeth Warren continues to be on the top of the list of nearly every honest speaking reporter or consumer advocate, we've decided to put Tiny Tim on the top of our list today. Bring out the marching band it's time for a celebration. Today, Secretary Tim Geithner, you are our DOUCHEBAG DAILY.
No comments:
Post a Comment